Unless of course, you have somewhere to be. There are lots of little “rules” to caring for a baby that make it hard to live the way we used to. And while we knew this going into parenthood, it still sometimes feels like we have a lot to learn! We got a really good lesson in Harper’s needs last week when we did a day trip to Mt. Rainier with Ethan and Jess. It was a great day and Harper was a champ with napping in the car. We kept saying, “Wow, she’s doing so well.” So once her bed time rolled around we thought, “She’ll be fine if we push her a little more and stay out even longer.” Let’s just say we won’t make that mistake again. Four days later we are still trying to recover.
Harper is napping right now and I count every minute as a pure and wonderful gift. Not that I don’t love time with her when she is awake….it’s just that time to myself is such a rare and wonderful thing these days. Soon enough I will be back at work and missing her; even if I’m missing her when she’s asleep.
I must admit I’m getting a bit anxious about the transitions coming up. Next week we leave for the East Coast for two weeks (including lots of long driving trips), and shortly after we get back I start work again. I’ve got all kinds of mixed emotions about leaving her (even though Aaron will be caring for her for the first month) and I’m nervous that my brain won’t function the same once I’m at work. It’s amazing how sleep deprivation can really make you feel braindead at times. I used to think people just made that up.
It has helped me to remember that while Harper needs consistency and routine, she had adapted well to all of the transitions thus far. And while maternity leave has given me a chance to spend time with her, it certainly has been no vacation. At our PEPS group a couple of weeks ago, I shared that I was feeling like I hadn’t “done” anything with my maternity leave and that it had been a disappointment in terms of the goals I originally had. One of the women, Lisa, encouraged me to write down everything I’d done with my time, simply as of reflecting on the past four months. So, I will:
- Fed Harper, on average every two to three hours, every day
- Changed over 500 diapers (I’m guessing, but it may be more)
- Pumped and froze 60 ounces of milk
- Washed over 100 loads of laundry (cloth diapers need to be washed every two days, not to mention all of the clothes with spit up on them)
- Folded or put away said laundry (admittedly, Aaron usually does this)
- Fostered our 14-year-old neighbor for three months, while also negotiating with her social worker and family
- Entertained seven sets of visitors (which we always love!)
- Had major surgery to remove my left ovary and the annoying cyst that regrew on it
- Recovered from said surgery while taking care of a baby
- Went to 15 doctor’s appointments (for baby, cyst, teeth, etc.) Brought Harper to three of these because I couldn’t find anyone to watch her!
- Attended three board meetings for First Place, two fundraising breakfasts, and two HOA meetings
- Went to 46 (!!! yes, I looked on my calendar) coffee dates
- Took at least three walks a week with friends or neighbors
- Went to the Farmer’s Market five times
- Went to Yoga 8 times
I could probably keep going. I think for me this exercise is helpful, mostly because I have such a weird fear of my life being empty or uneventful. Maybe a real accomplishment would be if I had written, “took care of my baby. took care of myself.”
*Sigh* Don’t worry. It’s a mostly happy sigh, but with a reminder that I still need to work on slowing down and taking life in. Harper is waking up. Back to my little girl.
I am looking forward to showing her off to our extended family!
Oh, and don’t forget to look at the pictures from Harper’s first trip to see Mt. Rainier. Despite the bad ending, it was a wonderful day. And Aaron will want to make sure you see Harper’s first baseball game from when his parents came to visit too. Go to our picasa albums here: https://picasaweb.google.com/Makeba.Greene
…..
And, she’s back to sleep! So now that I’ve just read this post and the one before it, I’ve realized that I essentially wrote the same thing twice. I’m serious about sleep deprivation killing my memory. It’s scary.
Maybe adding a picture will make it seem like I had something new to share?
What a great picture. I’m glad you made a list of the things you accomplished. I think that you have done more during your maternity leave than many non-mothers have done with their time. I’m always amazed at your capacity to squeeze in so much, especially when it comes to your social life. (Then again, you’re more of a people person than I am!) But you are very giving of yourself, and I really appreciate how much time you’ve made to email me and hang out with me despite your new (and demanding!) role as a mom.